Mardis Gras Memories

Growing up Catholic in rural Wisconsin, the Mardis Gras festivities were different than in New Orleans or Rio, but they were no less decadent. Spray painting “Class of 89” on the water tower, getting your bangs trimmed for the Ash Wednesday blessing and the infamously debauched Shrove Tuesday pancake supper at the Knights of Columbus. I’d always choose sausage patties instead of links and center them on my pancakes to create crisp, real pork areolas over flat, Bisquick breasts. Then I’d toss my rosary at the plate like the maple-drenched whore that it was.

For lent I’d forsake onanism.

Laissez les bons temps
rouler!