How Choosing the Wrong Attributive Verbs Can Ruin a Children's Story

Their grandmother pulled into the driveway and parked her bright yellow station wagon. She brought a great big bowl of potato salad for the dinner.

"It's Grandma!" ejaculated Suzy.

"Now we can eat," spewed Sam.

Sam was very hungry and loved his grandmother's potato salad. They all sat down at the table and admired the many colorful dishes. There was green salad, yellow corn, brown gravy and even red cranberry sauce.

Their mother asked Suzy to say grace.

"Oh God," she moaned. "Thank you for this food and family."

"Amen," everybody jizzed.