I've Been Push Polled

This part really happened:

The phone rings. A lady claims to be from Peach Surveys or some similar sounding name. She asks in the upcoming run-off for Lt. Gov. would I be more likely to vote for Jim Martin or Greg Hecht. When told Martin she then asks if knowing Jim Martin voted to raise his salary 63% while cutting teacher's salaries would I be more or less likely to vote for him. I take issue with the premise and she thanks me for my time and hangs up.

Now the comic elaboration:

Later she calls back while holding her nose to change her voice and claiming to be from ATL Opinions. She asks if I knew Jim Martin fathered John McCain's illegitimate black child and how that would affect his trustworthiness on a scale of 1 to 5 with 1 being extremely untrustworthy, 2 as somewhat untrustworthy, etc. I reply that test results revealed on a recent Maury cast doubt on that charge. She thanks me for my time and hangs up.

The same woman calls again. She now speaks with a mock Italian accent and claims to be from "La-o Republica-o Newsa-papa." She asks if I knew that Jim Martin had a gay marriage on an Indian casino and "would-a that-a make-a him more-a Satan's-a minion-a or less (cough, cough) -a?"

I hang up.