Monday, January 29, 2007

One Gag Per Candidate--Part 2

Fmr. Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney hopes to be America's first Mormon president. Does the White House basesment have enough room for a year's supply of crackers and canned goods?

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson hopes to be the first Hispanic president. And CNN's Lou Dobbs is already calling for a fence around the White House.

Sam Brownback opposes President Bush's troop surge saying those soldier's are needed to close down abortion clinics here at home. Yet the Kansas Senator insists he's not just this year's single-issue Pro-Life candidate, he's also Pro-Glutein. (I have a good joke about getting an abortion in Kansas but I used it in this post about South Dakota.)

John Edwards is running again. The boyish but folksy country lawyer from North Carolina hopes to appeal to Matlock fans under 60.

Anti-immigration Congressman Tom Tancredo is such a stauch proponent of English-only laws his name will appear on the ballot as just Tom.

As chair of the Senate Banking Committe, Christopher Dodd claims to have a great new plan to reduce the national debt by sending half payments every 14 days.

Newt Gingrich says he's not running for the Republican nomination now but that he's willing to be drafted later. That's a first. "Student Deferment" Newt ready for battle? Somebody's third wife must have cancer.

Senator Joe Biden hopes that after eight years of Texas swagger Americans will be ready for some Delaware teeny tiny steps like Tim Conway's "Old Man" character.

3 Comments:

At 1:56 AM, Blogger Robiscus said...

its the Lou Dobbs joke that curls my toes.

 
At 9:18 PM, Blogger Brian Bannon said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 10:27 PM, Blogger Brian Bannon said...

I'm pretty sure there's already a fence around the White House but I sacrificed believability for brevity.
That's the fun of pounding out gags.

But I'll have to watch out for that quantity over quality balance lest I turn into Leno.

 

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