Goodbye Cruel Scottdale

Why does Meetup keep sending me notices about new suicide pacts? And way the hell out in Scottdale? I gotta fill up first? No thanks.

I know the depressive economy has been put on watch--no belts or laces for Wall St. for awhile--but this is America. What kind of electro-shock therapy might Ben Franklin have tinkered up for himself? How would self-reliant Emerson have self-medicated? What minority group would Henry Ford have blamed?

Besides, I wouldn't want to belong to any suicide pact that would have me as a member.