588-2300

Is it just me or is the Empire Carpet guy’s speech becoming more slurred and incoherent? About the only words I can make out in the ads lately is the catchy phone number. I’m all for keeping stroke victims employed but at least add subtitles. I’ve also noticed he only appears as an animated figure now. And quite an animated figure indeed—leaping about those factory-direct floors and tossing rolls of name-brand Plushes and Berbers like a 20-year old after his first whiff of carpet glue.

Maybe he can voice an animated version of next year’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve:

"(Unintelligible)...(Unintelligible)...8!...

(Unintelligible)...(Unintelligible)...5!...

(Unintelligible)...3!...2!...

(Unintelligible)...(Audience Cheers)."