The Self-Abasement Tapes
An Atlanta comedian's blog.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Jail Bait to Play Porn Score
The Atlanta Symphony Youth Orchestra’s Winter Concert Sunday will include a performance of Ravel’s Bolero.
A sensuous exploration of the orchestral palette, Bolero’s silky and exotic themes are heard first in tender solos then gain girth as more instruments pile on. To a steady, pulsating rhythm “the obsessive repetition builds tension to an overwhelming climax.” (ASYO Program Notes.) Most famously used as get-it-on music in 10 with Dudley Moore and Bo Dereck, Bolero has long been the pseudo-intellectual alternative to Marvin Gaye, Barry White or Lorne Green's On the Ponderosa.
The Atlanta Symphony Youth Orchestra consists of 120 members all of high school age.
If you go, try not to look too long at the clarinetist as she moistens her reed. (Or the bassoonist who takes two at a time.)
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Protestant Work Ethic
Today is Johann Sebastian Bach's birthday. The greatest composer of post-Reformation, pre-Enlightenment Europe, Bach wrested sacred choral music from Latin--a dying language--and set it to German--an unsingable one. True to the Baroque aesthetic, his life saw a constant "spinning out" of cantatas, concerti, toccatas and kids. (20 in all. Nine of 'em lived!)
At the heart of Protestantism is the belief that neither an elaborate church hierarchy nor even a single priest need act as intermediary between an individual and God's wrath. Like Job, we are each free to offer our pleas and lamentations directly to God and experience his derisive laughter or cold indifference for ourselves.
Appalled by the corruption, sensuality and empty ritual of the Latin Church, German Lutherans venerated hard work. Soon, constant, drudging labor became the Protestant way to crush the soul.
"Wachet Auf! You must clock in!"
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Now at 7 Stages
Double Edge Theatre’s The UnPOSSESSED at 7 Stages celebrates the 400th anniversary of Cervantes’ novel Don Quixote by “fusing popular and circus arts, including acrobatics, puppetry, aerial theatre and commedia, with live original music….” The small ensemble of 6 players means each in turn gets to climb and swing on makeshift trapeze, sing and play instruments as well as portray vivid characters from Renaissance Spain. It's very intimidating.
But then as one who neither sings, dances nor acts (a triple non-threat) I'm easily intimidated. I've even been know to get jealous watching Wayne Newton play 2-bar solos (of mostly 2 notes) on "13 different instruments!"
But can he usher on a Friday night?
Monday, March 13, 2006
The Painter of Light Casts a Shower of Gold Upon a Pile of Pooh!
From an LA Times article on Thomas Kinkade:
"This one's for you, Walt," the artist quipped late one night as he urinated on a Winnie the Pooh figure, said Terry Sheppard, a former vice president for Kinkade's company, in an interview.
"There may have been some ritual territory marking going on, but I don't recall it," he said.
So now he's hacking Serrano? What's next, a self-portrait with sun-drentched bullwhip up his ass?
Funny, my old neighborhood had a dog who'd mark his territory with derivative, cloyingly saccharine crap that his owner'd scoop with Wonder Bread bags.
Good old Cerberus.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Cheap Computer Mic. Now with Cheesy Keyboard!
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
The Pierre Post
They used to say that in South Dakota if you got an abortion on a Friday you could see the forceps coming on Wednesday.
'Cause it's so flat.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Texas Barbecue and Saffron Rice
President Bush offered floral homage to Mahatma Ghandi Thursday morning (overnight Wednesday GMT) despite criticism for his non-non-violent policies.
In an awkward foreign dignitary exchange Hindu nationalist Lal Krishna Advani made a last-minute swing by the King Center while on a visit to Atlanta. "We really just came to see the new aquarium but it kind of looks bad if you don't at least drive by," said the former Bharatiya Janata Party president. Asked to comment on Dr. King, Advani praised him as "a credit to his caste."