Sunday, July 27, 2008

Only the Stillborn Die Young

Had an idea for a bit today called The Bush Doctrine. It was to go like this:

"President Bush is still worried about his legacy. After nearly eight years of a disastrous foreign policy, a failed economic agenda and borderline illiteracy, President Bush has announced the term he'd like historians to use when describing his presidency: The Aristocrats!

"So the whole presidency was just one long really sick joke? He was being ironic the whole time? For fuck's sake. I just hope you hipsters are happy. Trucker hats ain't so funny now, are they?"

Sadly, after a quick search to check its originality I see it's been done.

Darn. Guess I'll go back to directing my anger inward.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Somebody Hacked My IMDB Listing

Brian Bannon

Filmography Actor:

  1. OZ (2003) Season 6, Episode 7 “Fresh Meat Arrives”.... Fresh Meat
  2. Prisoners’ Behind Bars (2006) .... Snake’s Bitch
  3. Tyler Perry’s House of Payne (2007) Season 2, Episode 956 “A Payne in the Ass” .... Anal Rape Victim 2
  4. Georgia Lottery Commercial (2008) .... Fidgety Guy Buying Scratch-Off Ticket

For the record, I have NEVER been in a lottery commercial.


Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Brian Nichols for Sheriff?

The scandal-plagued Fulton County Sheriff's Office was on the ballot yesterday. With nine candidates running, the list ran longer than the Deputies Exam.

I considered writing in Brian Nichols--the alleged Fulton County Courthouse Shooter. He certainly has a knack for uncovering lapses in county security. And with his court proceedings threatening to last a full 4-year term, why not put him to work? Every life needs a purpose, right?

Instead I just picked one of the candidates without a folksy nickname in quotes.

But what's with that county surveyor guy running unopposed? Have you seen his plats?! All smeared, smudged and chicken scratched? It's like he wipes his ass with 'em or something. Where's a John "Can Draw" Doe or a Joe "Pretty Plats" Six Pack when you need him?